Regular readers of The Magnificent Frog (both of you) will recall my seething anger at the constant chatter regarding horoscopes.  In short it is my fervent belief that horoscopes are inaccurate, misleading, superstitious nonsense.  They rely on vague feelings of luck* and wishful thinking to predict anything and utilize vagaries and ego massage to sell themselves to gullible fools.

Fear not though for a light shines through the murky miasma of psychic advice.  Forget about the future in heavenly bodies of burning gas, dismiss the Chinese horoscope of funny animals made of five elements, discard the dripping entrails of your latest sacrifice.  A foolproof method of understanding yourself has emerged.  It is not based on esoteric charts or convoluted formula but on genuine and careful opinion and fact.  Yes, fact!

I present The Stars as Determined by The Stars: Oscarology.

*I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

– Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) Third president of the United States


Filed under Atheist, Modern Etiquette, Rats, Reasons to be cheerful

8 responses to “Stars

  1. Oink

    ARGH! She jumped between 1978 and 1980, so missing out my year. Now I’ll never know what kind of person I am.

  2. I don’t want to sound like an arty twat (so take that as a proviso), but one of my favourite films is Intacto – where the story explores that ‘luck’ is a commodity we all have, but it can get stolen from us and abused by those ‘really lucky’ people… Coat and getting now.

  3. Mrs Piggermann, leave a comment fro Greta. I’m sure she’ll have something to say about Kramer vs. Kramer in 1979.

    Actually I’ve just done it for you.

    Brennig, another foreign language film for my collection. Although I’ll probably end up shouting at the screen for making such assumptions as luck being a real thing.

  4. A platoon – ‘”dealistic and enthusiastic” – well hmm I could be. “Often influenced by what others do” ermm.. no.

    And what do you mean both of your readers. You have comments from 3 different people on here.

  5. tam

    Ooh-Ooh – 4 readers!!!


  6. they say the stars tell as the horoscopes but where do they really come from? horocospes are in my belives point less none knows if it ever happens, so whats the point in reading them?

  7. ozzi (thegreat ginypig you adopted)

    The stars and stupid. People should stop looking at the stars and start worship me, im amazing, im defiantly better than the stars, im the best god, ruler of the universe and blah blah blah

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