Monthly Archives: May 2007

Big Brother

Deviating from the regular *ahem* Thursday Thirteen somewhat I’d like to suggest thirteen methods of not watching Big Brother.

  1. Stab knitting needles in your eyes.
  2. Sew your eyes shut using cat gut.
  3. Drink strong liquor constantly for the next three months.
  4. Travel somewhere remote to work 16 hour days helping to save endangered animals from extinction.
  5. Fight a guerrilla war against Andy Duncan, chief executive of channel 4 from the hills outside his house.
  6. Spend every waking moment running in rural areas.
  7. Hibernate until it’s over.
  8. Fall down a well.
  9. Bury yourself in ice.
  10. Get on the show yourself.
  11. Break into the Big Brother house and gun down all those screeching harpies till their all dead.
  12. Set off a large enough nuclear explosion to create an EMP pulse to knock out all electronic devices in the UK.
  13. Curl into a foetal position and refuse to move until it’s over.

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Filed under Thursday Thirteen


In facebook there are 43 people with the same name as me.

None of them are a handsome as I am though.

Today’s Word of the Day is:

tatterdemalion (tat-uhr-di-MAYL-yuhn, -MALEE-uhn) adjectiveRagged, tattered.


A person in ragged clothes.

I went to see Pirate of the Caribbean III with the kids yesterday.  It was very disappointing.  I shall not be recommending it to any of my friends.

The Little Big Boss keeps hassling me about an XML link with a new client.  He doesn’t seem to understand that “It’s in the testing phase and should be ready for testing on the live system on Friday” means that things are going well and that it should be ready on Friday.


Filed under Facebook Generation, Reasons to be cheerful


I stole this from Jen Dziura. You can read her reason for this question on her blog. I am too lazy to repeat them. It is a matter of interest to me as I’m hoping to move soon into a vast mansion where every door has gold knobs.

However I am interested in your responses to her blog poll: How many hours per month do you have to work to pay your rent\mortgage? (For example, if you make £80,000 a year and pay £2,000 a month, that’s about £38/hour, so you work about 53 hours to pay your rent. If you work a £10/hr job and pay £450, you work 45 hours to pay your rent, which makes you, in a way, a little bit richer).

So please answer this in the comments: How many hours do you work to pay your rent, and what city do you live in?

You may choose to be anonymous of course but I’m nosey so please don’t.

Mine was 47.


Filed under le château de grenouille

hoverFrog’s Law of TMA Apathy

Here’s the thing about my continuous study with the Open University:

I cannot do any work on a unit, other than the first one, until I have received the grade for the last TMA.

For a complete explanation of the high jinks involved with working on and submitting a TMA (Tutor Marked Assignment) read AnotherBlogger.

I submitted TMA02 on the 24th May.  Clearly there is no reason in the world for my tutor not to download it, mark it, make comments on it and submit it back to me by now.  Just because I’m one of twenty students he has on this course, just because he may be running other courses, just because it’s the weekend. 

I’m being unfair, I know, but I am totally unable to open the next unit and start my reading until I’ve got the mark back.

Or is it just an excuse to spend a few days sitting round doing nothing?

Gah! I’m so lazy.  At this rate I’ll never finish.


Filed under MT262

Oh bum! (in bullet points)

  • The government has delayed the introduction of the home information pack. 
  • My firm has invested heavily in one part of the pack, have set up an office and employed people to administer the production of the reports. 
  • The little Big Boss is now convinced that the HIP project will be cancelled.
  • As a result two people had to be “let go” yesterday.
  • This has left me surprisingly sad.  I mean they were both good people and have not done anything to warrant losing their jobs.
  • I’m getting an obscenely huge bonus at the end of the month.
  • This leaves me riddles with guilt.
  • I agreed to sell my house to someone but they decided that they don’t want it anymore.  This is the second time that this has happened.
  • The kids are bickering like crazy at the moment.
  • It’s too hot.

On the positive side

  • I finished my TMA and submitted it on time.  I don’t think I’ll reach the dizzying heights of 96% like I got in the last one though even though all my C++ functions worked perfectly.
  • I’m bunking off work early because I’ve had enough for one day.


Filed under Bad things happen, Shitbiscuits

Beet that

I’m having beetroot salad for lunch.

I’m wearing a white shirt.

Hopefully I’ll manage to eat it all without any mishaps.  It’s this kind of wild living that gets me a reputation for mayhem dontchaknow.


Filed under Reasons to be cheerful

South West Trains

Text conversation ‘twixt me and The Hildy.

Me: Where is my train?  It’s 15 minutes late but the display still says it’s on time.  Have I got a magic time travel train?  That would be cool but not likely with SW trains.

The Hildy: Remember the train from The Polar Express.  Any minute now it will arrive and take you off to the North Pole to see Santa.

Me: Wow! Really?  That’s great.

Me (again): Oh bugger, it’s a shitty SW Trains train coming into the station.  Oh well, maybe tomorrow I’ll have a magic train.

The Hildy: Tomorrow u will have a magic train.  It’s important to keep your dreams alive.

Sometimes I think that The Hildy is the only person in the world who really understands me.  I’m looking forward to seeing Santa tomorrow as well.

If not then I’ll just go to Brighton instead.  There are plenty of worse places to visit.


Filed under Reasons to be cheerful