Work

Urgh….I’ve got to go to work tomorrow.

For three hours.

It takes me an hour to get there and an hour to get home assuming that the trains run on time. Ha.

If I just lie in bed all morning do you think that people would notice?

I have a theory…

…it could be bunnies.

I explained to The Hildy my theory last night.  Whenever I explain one of my carefully thought out but slightly odd theories to The Hildy she gives me that look.  You know the one?  The “I love you but you’d better not have passed on your crazy genes to the kids” look.

At least she didn’t back away in terror like she did when I explained the idea about the people who live behind the mirror and pretend to be our reflections.  She’s obviously getting used to me.

Anyway, my theory.

The working week is too short for me to get all the work done that I need to do.  The weekend is too short for me to properly relax.  This makes Mondays particularly harrowing as I’m still in “weekend mode” while I have work to do.  Obviously I’d like to work less and relax more but needs must and all that so I cannot reduce the number of days overall that I work.  A solution came to me though. 

Rather than work 5 days in every 7 why not work 7 days in every 10.  The ratio works out almost the same.  Instead of working 260 days less holiday I’d work 256 days less holiday in a year.  The advantage is that I’d have enough time to do my work and get more time off at the weekend.

The problem I can see though is what to name the other three days.  Suggestions please.

Spam

Akismet has caught 2,202 spam for you since you first installed it.

I’ve only receive 1,570 comments.

Clearly the posts I leave encourage spam more than they do actual people.

Marvellous!

Christmas do menu

All food served to the tables

Kings Arthur’s Broth

(Served in cauldrons)

A hearty Mutton broth served with crusty cobs

**

Baked loin of Pig with Honey and Cider Apples

Many Hens well roasted

Plump sausages of Beef with Sage and whole baby Onions

Rosemary roasted Potatoes

Wholesome roots of vegetables

Sprouts with Chestnuts

**

Plum pudding with fruits, berries and fresh Cream

Sounds good eh?  Unless you’re a vegetarian like me.  I think I’ll give it a miss.

Martial Art

Evil

Happy POETS day everybody.

Blue moon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own.

Some people should not be allowed to use telephones.

I’ve just had a call from an utter twonk to reschedule a meeting and rather than pause between comments he kept muttering “do de do de doo”.  What’s that about?

Also The Boss has sent round a shittygram to all staff.  Apparently someone has been stealing bog rolls.  Yeah, that’s right.  Now if I were going to rob my work place I’d steal something worth having.  To risk your job for the sake of some arse paper is just about the stupidest thing I’ve heard all day.

It is only 9:15 though.

Finally, the walk to work this morning was plagued with nutters.  I saw mumblers, drunken stumblers, vacant grinners and even a soap box preacher in the 20 minutes it took to walk from the train station to the office.

It must be a full moon.

My purpose in life

It seems that being the “IT guy” in a company of complete numpties actually grants me magical abilities to answer any question on any subject no matter how mundane.

For example I have successfully answered the following questions today:

• How do I know it the text I have copied has been copied?
• How does someone drown in a swimming pool?
• Is Scientology a religion or a cult?
• Where are the biscuits?
• How the hell has Jade Goody got pregnant again?
• The computer says it needs to shut down.  What should I do?
• Was the Pope in the Hitler youth?

There are others but these stick in my mind.

Why not jump on the bandwagon and ask me a question?  Go ahead.  It’s the only reason I exist.

Comment tracking

Back in the heady days of yesteryear (23 June 2005) when I were a young lad new to blogging I became utterly enamoured with the wonder of comment tracking.  You could leave a comment on someone’s blog and then see the comments of everyone who subsequently visited and had something to say.  You could actually keep track of things that you’d said and follow multiple threads through for weeks or even months.

Amazing.

Sadly Twenty6 went down to pan, swapped platforms and decided that comment tracking was something that really wouldn’t encourage people to blog.  Frankly I’m lost without it so I turned my back on the bag of poo that my first blog had become and went over to Platform27 which was like a poor man’s 20Six, with half the people missing but most of the functionality.  It has comment tracking at least and some of the greatest people you could hope to meet online.  For a long time I double posted everything on both blogs but the whole thing started to annoy me.  A few of the old community didn’t come over to P27 but ran all over t’Internet looking for new pasture.  Some came here to WordPress, some went to Vox, some sad teens went to myspace *spits* but we don’t talk about them.  Not in growed up company anyway. 

Now many of P27 have started drifting away.  WordPress and Vox seem to have an equal split.

Anyway I’d quite like it if all my Internet chums could please come over to WordPress and stay here.  All this running around is really quite tiring. 

Alternatively could you all go to a platform that has comment tracking (like WordPress has) and then let me know where you’ve gone.  I quite like WordPress so I hope that you go for the former option. 

Things I’d quite like WordPress to have:

• The ability to edit the HTML and javascript if I just want to change something
• Cake
• A photoblog section with vast amounts of free storage for all my lovely kids photos and pictures of rats
• The ability to comment with HTML or just to comment with an image added
• Have I mentioned cake

What do you want today?

Cancel the rest of your day

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