Pet blog

My much neglected pet blog is still going.  You know, just in case my inane witterings aren’t enough for you.

Stars

Regular readers of The Magnificent Frog (both of you) will recall my seething anger at the constant chatter regarding horoscopes.  In short it is my fervent belief that horoscopes are inaccurate, misleading, superstitious nonsense.  They rely on vague feelings of luck* and wishful thinking to predict anything and utilize vagaries and ego massage to sell themselves to gullible fools.

Fear not though for a light shines through the murky miasma of psychic advice.  Forget about the future in heavenly bodies of burning gas, dismiss the Chinese horoscope of funny animals made of five elements, discard the dripping entrails of your latest sacrifice.  A foolproof method of understanding yourself has emerged.  It is not based on esoteric charts or convoluted formula but on genuine and careful opinion and fact.  Yes, fact!

I present The Stars as Determined by The Stars: Oscarology.

*I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

– Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) Third president of the United States

Spam but this time it’s against my friends

DEADLY SODA CANSVERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READThis incident happened recently in north Texas. We need to be even more careful everywhere.A woman went boating one Sunday, taking with her some cans of coke which she put in the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken into Intensive Care Unit and on Wednesday she died.The autopsy revealed a certain Leptospirose caused by the can of coke from which she had drunk, not using a glass. A test showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis.Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to wash thoroughly the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them as they have been stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned.

A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets i.e.. full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident.

My ratty friends would be very offended by such falsehoods.

• Rat urine is the same as human urine in that it contains toxic waste fluids like urea and some bacteria but is virtually sterile.  At least when processes by healthy kidneys.
• Leptospirosis can be contracted by exposure to the disease that is typically excreted by infected animals (including rats).  The most common source is river water in rural areas.
• There is no actual verifiable media source for these stories.  You’d think that the media would love to sell more papers by reporting a health scare but none exist.

My ratty friends thank you for not perpetrating such terrible lies against them.  They can now take a rest.

The lovely lady rats

If you’ve ever tried to photograph rats then you’ll know how incredibly difficult it is to get them to pose.  Here are a few pictures of the girls that I managed to take.

Izzy as modelled by Snarly Beth. 

The other no-name sister, Anya trying to escape from Cake Worm.

Templeton the spider rat shows Little Al how to clamber.
 

Smudge finding ways to tickle Cake Worm and make Tiny Tasha laugh.

A bonus photograph of my chin and Smudge playing “Climb the tall guy”.

Floppy eared menace

Look what that pesky Sapphire has gone and done.  I don’t know, turn your back for five minutes…..

Never send a woman to do a man’s job.

Well if that title doesn’t get some comments then nothing will. 

We spent the weekend unpacking.  As much fun as this sounds I had really had enough of it by about midday on Saturday.

On Sunday we had reached the point where we couldn’t unpack anything else without some additional shelves.  With this in mind The Hildy set off into town with her sister and a list of specific bookcases to purchase….

…several hours later she returned with a rabbit.

No bookcases just a white, fluffy bunny.  Named Sapphire, Saffie for short.

We still haven’t decided on names for the rats though.

I’d like a Sainthood actually.

I’m so very tired today.  All this moving malarkey is no fun.

Quick update of the move to le château de grenouille:

Monday

• Woke up at Unnatural O’clock in the morning surrounded by boxes and feeling decidedly ill.
• Had a soak in the bath.
• Packed like a slightly wobbly dervish…OK The Hildy packed while I performed manly moving boxes downstairs in silence.
• At 7am I woke the tadpoles and fed them breakfast of croissants and tap water.
• Ate a croissant really quickly.
• Got hiccups.
• More moving stuff around.
• At 8:30am I sent the kids off to school and explained once again that I would collect them so they should NOT come back to the house.  Arranged to meet Snarly in the library.  Different school, different rules.
• At 9am I went to the bottle bank.  I wouldn’t want anyone thinking that I’m an alcoholic or anything.
• At 9:15 I return and briefly wonder why I hadn’t put the bins in the road to leave a space for the removal van.
• At 9:30 the removal van arrives.  We spend the next hour and a half loading the van.
• 10:48am I receive a text from the broker that we have completed and can now arrange to collect the keys.  I eagerly await a call from the estate agent.
• We spend a while hoovering, mopping, cleaning and generally making the place spic and span for the new people.  I even empty the bins into neighbours bins (they said I could) so as to leave the place perfect. 
• The removal chaps disappear off to lunch.
• By 1pm I’m starting to get annoyed.  I’ve gone shopping for lunch and we’re left sitting on the stairs trying to keep a very stressed cat happy.  The estate agent is claiming not to have a phone number for the former owners of le château de grenouille and haven’t got the keys.
• Six phone calls to the estate agent later I decide to go to le château de grenouille myself and see if they are still there.
• They are.
• They are sitting in the front garden smoking, drinking and laughing.  In.  My.  Property.  Apparently they are waiting for a phone call from their solicitor and can’t move till they get it.
• I decide that politeness will get me further than incoherent rage and help them to load their tiny tiny van with as much stuff as I can.
• 3:30pm I collect the kids and rush to the shops for some essentials.  Little Al drops a bag of shopping and floods a shop doorway in beer.  I tell him it’s OK and grit my teeth. 
• 4pm arrives.  At this point I have not told the estate agent that I have the keys, the temporary squatters only have one more van to fill up and my two vans full of stuff are on their way to le château de grenouille to unload.  My hiccups are still tormenting me and I’m gasping for a cup of tea.
• 4:45 the solicitor calls and tells me that I can move in.
• 6pm, we finish unloading the vans.
• Apparently it is socially acceptable to stand at the gate of a house and stare in through the doors and windows when people move in.  Comments are also welcome, particularly when they are intelligent and well presented.  For example: “Are you moving in then?” or “Is this all your stuff?”
• 7pm I order Chinese. 
• We put up one bed and give up.  Kids on mattresses again.
• I have managed not to swear all day.

 Tuesday

I’m working in East Sussex so I’m up early.  Everything aches and I’ve developed a cough.  The whole day isn’t even worth bullet points.  Except the last bit.  Everyone seems to have forgotten how to do their job so I spread my germs and explain all over again what it is that they are supposed to do.  I also have a surprise job interview for someone. 

When I get home I find out that the upstairs loo is broken and the electrics are a bit dodgy.

The estate agent still doesn’t know that I have moved in. 

I receive the solicitor’s bill.  This is the most efficient that they have been.

The Hildy has cheered up the house by purchasing four beautiful girl rats.  They escaped and played “hide in the boxes” and “let’s see if the cat is a stupid as she looks”.  We have nearly decided on Smudge and Templeton for two of their names but I need more.  Previous rat names have been Spike, Oz, Peter, Jack and Harry.  The ringleader of the Great Cage Escape may end up being called Houdini.

Today

Today I am so tired that I think I may fall asleep at any moment.  My observations of the day are simply blurred as a result.  One thing comes to mind though.  Some people who get buses are a bit strange.  Don’t stare back at them.

I still can’t find my coat…or my dressing gown to cover my nudity during my morning ablutions.  Either would do.

Now I’m going home via a train and a bus or possibly for a long walk.  See you tomorrow.  hopefully I’ll get some rat snaps on my camera…if I can find some batteries.