Apart from a few alterations and dozens of additions we’re pretty much agreed that we’re going to cull the human race. The question now arises as to the method of culling. Obviously cruelty should be avoided so we can’t have attack dogs. We don’t want to upset people with the prospect that they need to go out and kill their neighbours so we need specialist for the job. At the same time we don’t want to overlook an opportunity for some free amusement.
Naturally I can no longer use phone in polls to gauge public opinion because all the dishonest operators associated with such shoddy practices are going to die. I therefore propose voting here on the best method for culling the masses.
- Genetically engineer dinosaur clones, train them to avoid the select few who are to survive and release them into the general populous. The advantage of this is that anyone smart enough to survive and escape the dinosaurs will enhance the gene pool and probably shouldn’t have been culled anyway. Also dinosaurs are really cool.
Sioned trains death squads in the arts of murder and torture (just for fun) and they systematically travel the world ending the lives of all who no longer deserve to live. The advantage here is that they would obviously look really hot in their tight black uniforms so everyone will be happy.
- We engineer a war between the nations who favour pirates and those who favour ninjas. Not only would this be the coolest fight ever as sides would need to be appropriately dressed but there’ll be plenty of opportunity for yelling Yarr! or moving stealthily (depending on your preference). Of course the disadvantage is the increased chance of collateral casualties.
- We challenge the aliens to a fight. Their future technology will surely reduce the population by just enough.