There are some people in this world who just don’t seem to understand that they irritate other people. I am not one of these. I know that I annoy lots of people, I know that I am pedantic, sarcastic and occasionally mean. I can be intolerant of views and downright condescending when people do things that go directly against the actions that they could take if they bothered to look at the evidence. People on diets tend to receive my scorn for example. Diets are utterly ineffectual except for temporary weight loss. What is need instead is a change in eating habits for sustainable health in most people coupled with an increase in exercise. People who try diet after diet but lose no weight need to give up diets, go for a walk and eat their greens.
This isn’t about diets. This is about people who are annoying but don’t know that they are annoying. Mrs The Pain in our office is one such person. She wrongly believes that everything that she says is cute, funny and amusing. In fact this is rarely the case. Most often what she says is just plain stupid. She also seems to think that the world revolves around her.
I got to work this morning with my usual alacrity. I have a modest walk to work of about two miles which usually warms my muscles and gets the blood flowing so my excess heat can be dissipated and I don’t overheat. However Mrs The Pain thinks that I will be freezing cold when I arrive at work because she drives to the door and then sits in a chair gossiping on the phone. Despite assumptions about talking and hot air this doesn’t warm a body much. Mrs The Pain also wears clothing suitable for a central heated house, heated car or summer walk on the beech. She makes no change for approaching winter weather except to turn the radiators on in the office.
When I arrive at work it is always uncomfortably hot. Typically it’s 25ºC (77ºF in American) which I would usually consider to be hot. The radiators are all on and the windows are tightly closed. In previous winters I’ve sat down and opened my window till the temperature drops to a more acceptable 21ºC although I’d be happier at 19ºC. I’d take off surplus clothing but I already wear the minimum. Apparently opening a window when you’re too hot is an issue that makes people complain and “piss off to another office” isn’t an acceptable response. I’ve tried underhanded tactics like turning the boiler off and I’ve tried being reasonable but she persists in keeping to her own view that it is too cold so the heating goes on.
A compromise would help. I could be a little too warm and she would wear a cardigan, she could leave the heating off and I could leave my window closed. I’ve suggested as much but Mrs The Pain is unmoved. If she is cold then the heating goes on. I’ve even turned the boiler up and the radiators on full and taken the day off so she can experience a day of being far too hot. She doesn’t care. Her view is the only one that matters.
Anyway, today I arrive at the office and it’s like a furnace. I hang my coat up and go outside to cool down but comment on the heat politely in the hope that she’ll turn it down a notch. Apparently this means that I am in a bad mood. I wasn’t until I’m told by Mrs The Pain that my being too hot and asking for some consideration in a shared office is a sign of my own bad attitude. Now I’m in a stinking mood and am plotting how to torture, kill and dispose of her corpse.
Any suggestions? We don’t need a patio at work so my first plan is out. Such a shame really, no-one would ever think to look under a patio for a body.