Daily Archives: 12 November 2008

Rude. Much!

Helen talked about rudeness in her blog.  Apparently 80% of Bloody Colonial Yanks think that rudeness is a problem in America.  Clearly they know nothing and haven’t a candle to hold to we Brits.  We’ve got rudeness down to an art form.  Why, I can insult someone to their face with such aplomb that they will believe I have blessed them before all the Celestial Bureaucracy. I can turn the phrase so that they weep bitter tears hours or even days later when it dawns on them how I have abused them.

All English people have this skill.  We learn it in the playground and from our parents.  There are no compliments just one half of an insult left unsaid.  We are masters.

Yet, our Norman cousins surpass even our skill.  The noble French, so brave in battle, are kings and queens of the sneer.  A look from a Frenchman can convey more contempt than a English verbal parody and a snort of disgust can be exhaled with such venom that the target might keel over in shame.  We have much to learn.  But not as much as Americans.

What is your favourite method of insulting someone?  It might be a favourite phrase or sound or an absence of action.  Mine is the blank stare for a moment too long followed with a short “Huh?” I enjoy the way that they doubt themselves, was their explanation weak or did they mumble?  It is effortless as well.  I’m also quite keen on the phrase “I’m sorry, I stopped listening” but this is a tad obvious.

Tell me yours please.  In the interests of science.


Filed under Reasons to be cheerful