Category Archives: Recipe for disaster

OK, I’m vegetarian, not vegan but this is funny.


Filed under Debate, I am, Recipe for disaster


I really fancy munching on some cheese and biscuits but I’ve run out of crackers.

What’s a fella to do in a situation like this?


Filed under Recipe for disaster, You decide

NOT Easter

BlueSoup says that she can only just cook an egg.

I can think of loads of ways to cook an egg:

  1. Baked (oeufs en cocotte)
  2. Boiled (soft and hard)
  3. Coddled (even in a microwave)
  4. Deviled (ooh spicy)
  5. Fried (I like mine crispy)
  6. Poached (my favourite)
  7. Scrambled (with pepper)
  8. Omelette (with lots of melted cheese)
  9. Pickled (brown vinegar and chillis)

How do you like your eggs in the morning?


Filed under Recipe for disaster

Onion Bhaji

In an effort to avoid conflict of any kind today I am mostly talking about food. 


100g / 4oz Gram Flour
1/4 teasp Chilli Powder
1/2 teasp Turmeric
1/2 teasp Baking Powder
1/2 teasp Ground Cumin
1 Large Onion, halved and thinly sliced
1 Green Chilli, deseeded and finely chopped
25g / 1oz finely chopped fresh Coriander*
Cold water to mix
Vegetable oil for deep frying


  • Sift the flour, chilli, turmeric, cumin, baking powder and salt into a large mixing bowl. Add the chopped coriander, onions and chillis and mix well.  If, like me you don’t do sifting then just bung the whole lot in together and give is a good stir about with your fingers.
  • Preheat the deep fat fryer to 180ºC / 350ºF.  I tend to put about 3 inches of sunflower oil in a pan and get it really hot.
  • Gradually add enough water to the flour mixture to form a thick batter mixing very well so the onions are well coated.  Make sure you churn the flour up from the bottom or it’ll go lumpy.
  • Very carefully drop spoonfuls of the mixture into the hot oil and fry.  By very carefully I mean dollop a lump of the mixture in with your fingers but try not to get burned.
  • When the onion bhaji is brown scoop it out and shake off the excess oil.
  • Drain well on kitchen paper and serve very hot.  You can keep them hot by putting them in the grill part of the oven but don’t be daft and put paper under there too or you’ll burn your house down.

Makes 10 -12

Incidentally I use exactly the same spices to flavour the rice I cook this with but I add a small amount of peas and one or two cloves.

*If you don’t have any fresh coriander then go out and buy a plant.  You can chop it down and it’ll regrow in a few weeks so you can make more.  It’s part of the miracle of nature.


Filed under Reasons to be cheerful, Recipe for disaster

Blackberry Cheese Squares

2 cups plain flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
1 cup shredded mild Cheddar cheese
10 oz. pureed blackberries

  • Sift flour with baking powder, salt and brown sugar.
  • Cut the butter and cheese into the dry ingredients until mixture is crumbly.
  • Set aside 3/4 cup of the cheese crumbs and pat the remaining mixture into an 8 inch square baking pan.
  • Spread blackberry puree evenly over the cheese mixture in the pan and sprinkle with remaining cheese crumbs.
  • Bake at Gas Mark 6 in an oven for 25 minutes or until golden.
  • Cool and cut into squares.

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Filed under Reasons to be cheerful, Recipe for disaster, Zombie shelter