Rude. Much!

Helen talked about rudeness in her blog.  Apparently 80% of Bloody Colonial Yanks think that rudeness is a problem in America.  Clearly they know nothing and haven’t a candle to hold to we Brits.  We’ve got rudeness down to an art form.  Why, I can insult someone to their face with such aplomb that they will believe I have blessed them before all the Celestial Bureaucracy. I can turn the phrase so that they weep bitter tears hours or even days later when it dawns on them how I have abused them.

All English people have this skill.  We learn it in the playground and from our parents.  There are no compliments just one half of an insult left unsaid.  We are masters.

Yet, our Norman cousins surpass even our skill.  The noble French, so brave in battle, are kings and queens of the sneer.  A look from a Frenchman can convey more contempt than a English verbal parody and a snort of disgust can be exhaled with such venom that the target might keel over in shame.  We have much to learn.  But not as much as Americans.

What is your favourite method of insulting someone?  It might be a favourite phrase or sound or an absence of action.  Mine is the blank stare for a moment too long followed with a short “Huh?” I enjoy the way that they doubt themselves, was their explanation weak or did they mumble?  It is effortless as well.  I’m also quite keen on the phrase “I’m sorry, I stopped listening” but this is a tad obvious.

Tell me yours please.  In the interests of science.


Filed under Reasons to be cheerful

10 responses to “Rude. Much!

  1. I’m a typical girl. It would probably be a ‘look’ followed by ‘ohhhh you look…nice’
    My nasty doesn’t come out until i’m really provoked, I can’t just muster it up to give you an example, sorry. Suffice to say, I don’t think people are ever sure if i’ve actually insulted them or not….which I think is an art form!

  2. SarahH

    I think globalization is, at least in English-speaking countries, slowly eroding the curb when it comes to nuances like humor, insults, satire, sarcasm, etc. I think there are some Grand Masters of different nationalities, but I don’t know how one would go about ranking the masses.

    I think the vast majority of rude behavior doesn’t fall under “art form” but rather “ignorance” or “lack of self-control” instead.

    That said, when I’m deliberately rude, I prefer to simply let the person finish speaking (or read what they’ve written quite thoroughly) and then shred it to pieces as efficiently and bluntly as possible, reducing them to the option of redacting their inane statements or looking even more foolish by trying to defend them against iron-clad arguments. I’m only really given to being rude when someone is being so deliberately and unrepentently wrong/insulting that my eventual response will be cataclysmic.

    I think my favorite instance of deliberate, calculated rudeness is Jon Stewart’s infamous appearance on the subsequently-canceled “Crossfire” where he combined earnestness, sincerity, sarcasm, and very pointed insults to great effect. I never get tired of watching that appearance.

  3. Using longs words, poshing up the Surrey accent and a condescending manner is my usual MO, also disinterest is always a winner. Failing that a big Oh just F**K OFF makes me feel loads better but I don’t think it has the same sophistication as my other responses.

  4. I forgot to add these! xxx :o)

  5. Jason

    Sarcasm is my favourite weapon of choice Mr Frog! But that’s usually after someone has been ignorant and/or rude to me. Before that they tend to get the benefit of the doubt! (I’m too nice!)

    A classic example would be me holding a door open or letting someone go before me, and not getting an acknowledgement usually earns a loud “You’re welcome”, or “After you!”

  6. I learnt a good one when I was a student sabbatical officer. One of the top directors at the University Support Services department gave us a training session and let us in on an effective way of making someone think that their input into a discussion was useful while at the same time dismissing it. She told us about it as a warning because some Uni staff members would probably try to do it to us when we attended University meetings.

    When someone inputs to a discussion but you don’t like what they have said, the best insult is to say “well, thank you for that [name]”. Then make eye contact with anyone else at the table and just move on without offering discussion. It makes the person slighted think that their input has been valuable and noted, when really it has just been looked over.

  7. Take a look at these: When insults had class. I might borrow a few lines.

  8. wait for them to stop speaking and then tell them what the time is. works for me!

  9. My particular favourite was said by a colleague in received pronunciation:

    “It makes you think fondly of the time when much of the world map was covered in imperial colours, and we had an empire. When one could say ‘to hell with that man, let us send him and his family to Africa with the promise of being a British Ambassador’, and know that he would never come back.”

  10. Rude? MOI?? (said in my finest incredulous French accent)

    I have far too much intelligence to lower myself to the level of being Rude to someone!


    You have been away far too long – it takes one to know one.


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