Billy Blood Drop

I’ve been giving blood for many, many years now.  I’ve donated enough of the red stuff to nearly fill up five desiccated humans.  I’ve been on the bone marrow register for more than a decade and been a close match three times.  Yet, not once in all that time, not once in 18 years has Billy Blood Drop ever made an appearance.

On my next burpday I think that Billy should really make the effort.  I’d like a visit for a change, a handshake or even a manly pat on the back.  Granted I’ve been drinking his tea for a while and he always leaves some biscuits to munch on.  Yesterday he even left two packets of hula hoops.  I was going to eat one but these little kids were waiting while their dad was giving blood.  I had to let them have the hoopy goodness while I contented myself with my ginger nuts.

Does anyone have any empirical evidence that hula hoops are smaller in the 21st century than in the 20th.  They seem smaller but my hands weren’t quite as rugged and sturdy as they are now.  I could fit the hoops on each of my fingers and then snarf all 10 in quick succession.  Now even my pinky has trouble wedging into a hula hoop.  I swear they’ve shrunk the blighters.

Anyway Billy.  A decent enough bloke really but he’d be more popular if we could see him more often.  I know he hangs round hospital wards and does his bit for “charidy” (he doesn’t like to talk about it) but he’s never down the pub getting the round in.  Why is that?  Do you think he’s one of those tea totallers that you hear about?

Can you bloggers do me a favour?  Pop into your next blood donor session and give blood.  If you see Billy hanging around, maybe flirting with the ladies, then get back to me.  It may be that I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time and I keep missing him.

Thanking you.

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21 Comments

Filed under I am, Reasons to be cheerful

21 responses to “Billy Blood Drop

  1. I would gladly give blood, but the drugs I take for my knee mean that I cannot. However I try to balance things up but also not having a requirement to need any donated blood, so far the status quo has been maintained.

    Do you still get a pin after so long to celebrate your generosity?

  2. I’ve got a bronze and a silver pin. In about three years I’ll have a gold one. Still no personal appearance though.

  3. Dom

    I’m also not allowed to give blood, however, I’ve never actually heard of this billy person before. I’m well aware of the donor campaigns (where I used to work was good at that), plus I’ve seen the TV adverts. Perhaps if he were less of a recluse he’d be more popular and therefore more in demand to make public appearances.

  4. I will, next time I see a donor place…

  5. Dom, do you think he’s just shy? That would explain his perpetual blush I suppose.

    Pinky, do they have them in foreign parts?

  6. I’ve been hanging around bloody donoring places for many years and never seen his ilk before! I suspect he’s an alien.

  7. Matt

    I gave blood right before I clicked on your blog.

    But more to the point, HoverFrog, I’m not sure if the skewed logic comes from living in England or being an athiest but here in the states, we give blood to help the non-desiccated humans (couldn’t resist, but you do seem like the type who can take a joke).

    Anyway, at my blood center we have raffles where you can win money, or the chance to get tickets to a baseball game. I’m afraid nothing quite as cool as Billy Blood Drop though. Since I’m on the subject of mascots, my city’s baseball team, the Brewers, used to have the coolest mascot. After every home run the mascot – whose name was Bernie Brewer – would slide into a giant beer mug. But now, because of political correctness it no longer happens. It’s quite sad

  8. What a good idea, thanks for the reminder. I’ve not had any tattoos or vanity holes in my flesh for a while. (they seem to have reduced the time limit on those. I think it used to be two years.) The buggery, intravenous drug use, nob gobbling, sex with Africans etc. questions don’t apply. I’ll have to give them a bell about past medical treatment though. I might be good to visit the phlebotomists again.
    It’ll be well worth it to have the opportunity to take the piss out of some poor sod in a big head character outfit along with a free cup of tea and a biscuit. Not to mention being a cheap date by getting wankered dead easy on the night afterwards.

  9. Brennig, he does have that hint of alien about him doesn’t he? Maybe it’s the hair that gives it away.

    Matt, has the American blood service stopped paying people for blood now then? Dessicated humans aren’t much use to anyone really. They don’t even make good paperweights.

    Bernie Brewer is the kind of mascot that you could really get behind. The kinda guy who embraces the finer things in life. I wonder what he’s doing now? Maybe he’s sitting alone in his trailer forlornly nursing a six pack of bud and lamenting his days as a star.

    Cha0tic, I think it’s 12 months that you have to wait now after sticking needles or spikes into your own flesh. You forgot to list the whoring as a reason for being refused at blood donors. If you pay for sex or someone pays you I think that the money somehow turns your blood green and smelling of almonds. I’m not sure of the details.

  10. purplephreak

    I’ve never seen him. Though they bring a mobile blood drive to our company every few months so maybe he just doesn’t go on tour. I keep having to stop giving blood for a year at a time whenever I get a new piercing or when I got my tattoo, it’s most annoying! I should be good to go again by next February.

  11. I want to give blood, but they won’t take mine since my illness. 😦 Fine, I’ll keep it then.

  12. Soupy, is that a permanent rejection or a temporary one? Billy Bloody Blood Drop is a picky sod ain’t he?

  13. well theres a blood drive in plymouth on the 16th which i plan to attend – and give – i’m a first timer since they didnt want my blood in the US! ill get a photo if he’s about xx

  14. Matt

    I’m not aware that the American blood service ever paid for blood donations. Is that common in England?

    And by the way, maybe I gave the wrong impression earlier. Bernie Brewer is alive and well. He just doesn’t have a giant beer mug to slide into anymore. It was so cool!

    Don’t feel sad for the people of Wisconsin and Brewer’s fans. We still have something called the “sausage race” where during a break in the baseball game, 5 sausage mascots race around the stadium.

  15. Matt, really? Perhaps I’ve just bought into a common myth. It wouldn’t be the first time.

    One of those sausage people looks distinctly German. Is there racial stereotyping going on in America? 😉

  16. Purple, all your comments end up in spam for some reason. It’s good to know that he turns up somewhere. Maybe he moonlights at your firm? A guy like that could blend in anywhere.

    SGT, well done you. Apparently our American cousins won’t take our blood because our government weren’t speedy enough in locking down Mad Cow. We’ve got an increased risk of being carriers of CJD as a result. I’m not sure if that was Labour or Tory. Not that I can tell the difference any more.

  17. Matt

    Their is also a Chorizo in the race which apparently is some type of Mexican saugage, so as you can see we are equal opportunity stereotypers here in America.

    On a serious note, part of the reason a distinctly German sausage is priviledged to run in the sausage race is because many of the citizens of Milwaukee (where the Brewer baseball team is based) have a German heritage. We definity like our brats (short for bratwurst).

  18. hf – yeh i knew that but they only decided that in 05

  19. Froggy – I am not sure. Some of ladies on Jo’s have said that after another clear smear, I will be eligible for blood donation again.

    I also have a donor card. I wonder if they would reject my organs if I died simply because I had a brush with cancer – from which I have been given the all clear!!

  20. My mate gave blood the other day & the nurse cocked up with the needle… she went through the other side of his vein (or something like that) and his whole arm is one big bruise…

    …and (selfishly) more to the point, he was supposed to do a gig with me on Sunday but he can’t play the guitar because his arm’s so bad…

    …sorry, don’t want to start any tabloid-esque scare-stories… (I blame Billy.)

  21. I too am an supporter of Blood donation. In Canada the Red Crosses slogan is…….
    “Blood……..it’s in you to give”. Isn’t that the BEST

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