Seeing as how I’m proper old an’ all I think it high time I got me one of those signs for the gate. I’ve got the shed (two actually) and I’ve got my own shaving brush. I’ve even got some slippers, though I don’t wear them. A sign on the gate warning away visitors would round the whole thing off nicely.
I thought about a sign that said “Dunroamin” but it’s just too bad to put up. I thought about a “Beware of the Dog” but I have a rabbit, a rat and a truly ancient and bad tempered cat. No dog, so no sign. I thought of an attempt an irony. “Beware of the Cat” came to mind but that’s just weak.
“No Salesmen” is just ineffective. “No Irish” is just rude, plus I was born there so I’d be banning myself, which sort of defeats the object. “No Jehovah’s Witnesses” might be fun but sometimes I do like to engage them in conversation, just not at 7am on a Sunday morning when I haven’t had my fix of coffee.
I think I’ll just go for bemusing:
What do you think?