Sign for the gate

Seeing as how I’m proper old an’ all I think it high time I got me one of those signs for the gate.  I’ve got the shed (two actually) and I’ve got my own shaving brush.  I’ve even got some slippers, though I don’t wear them.  A sign on the gate warning away visitors would round the whole thing off nicely.

I thought about a sign that said “Dunroamin” but it’s just too bad to put up.  I thought about a “Beware of the Dog” but I have a rabbit, a rat and a truly ancient and bad tempered cat.  No dog, so no sign.  I thought of an attempt an irony.  “Beware of the Cat” came to mind but that’s just weak.

“No Salesmen” is just ineffective.  “No Irish” is just rude, plus I was born there so I’d be banning myself, which sort of defeats the object.  “No Jehovah’s Witnesses” might be fun but sometimes I do like to engage them in conversation, just not at 7am on a Sunday morning when I haven’t had my fix of coffee.

I think I’ll just go for bemusing:

“No Ratcatchers”

What do you think?