Monthly Archives: August 2007


Did anyone watch The Enemies of Reason on Channel 4 last night?

This particular episode was entitled “The Irrational Health Service” and explored the ideas of unconventional alternative medicine.  I think Richard Dawkins soundly debunked them.  I particularly liked his statement that “alternative medicine that is proven to work becomes medicine and not an alternative to it”.

Anyway The Hildy and I began a heated debate (we like heated debates because we get to cuddle up afterwards) on the merits of alternative medicine.  The Hildy has taken herbal remedies for headaches and swears to there efficacy but I maintain that the effect is largely placebo.  She also openly mocks the work of her aunt who claims to be a faith healer. 

Faith healing for me is one of the most despicable practices that is allowed to continue in a modern world where it replaces conventional medicine.  I see no problem with someone seeking complimentary care through faith  The human body heals faster when a positive mental attitude is maintained and complimentary care can help to keep a person’s spirits up.  For me faith healers are little more than charlatans and snake oil salesmen seeking to exploit the weak and needy for money or to satisfy some deeply unsettling need in themselves.  While I don’t doubt that people have recovered their health as a result of the placebo effect of faith healing it does not stand up to rigorous testing and should therefore not be allowed to replace conventional medicine. 

I would love to see a health service that took the time with their patients that the practitioners of alternative medicine did in the show.  Sadly each patient is seen for an average of only eight minutes by an NHS doctor and over an hour by alternative practitioners.  NHS GPS being very much limited to triage in my opinion at least compared to private medicine.  I mean the doctors have the same training but privately get paid more than on the NHS.  The difference is in how you are treated as a patient.  This is something that alternative medicine has over conventional medicine.  The NHS has time and skill only to treat the ailment and not the person while the alternative practitioner has time to treat the person but not the skill to treat the ailment.

What is your opinion?


Filed under Bad things happen, Reasons to be cheerful, You decide


One thing that I was doing at the weekend that I have failed to mention is the discussion I had regarding the concept of Karma.  The Hildy, in all her beauty, intellect and wisdom, really likes the idea of karma whereas I preferred to think about it as more of that nonsense superstition that people put too much faith in.

As our discussion and various clarifications came about we discovered that we had different ideas of what karma actually meant.  I had always thought of karma from the western ideology that when a good or bad deed is performed it is returned to you in a different form.  i.e. You buy a street sleeper a cup of tea and a sandwich and your library fines get waived.  I’d always looked upon this as being exceptionally mercenary and selfish.  A person should not perform good or helpful deeds in order to be rewarded or even in expectation of being rewarded.  Altruism should be it’s own reward.  This is much the same issue I have with the idea of heaven but we’re talking about karma here and nothing else.

The Hildy prefers the eastern idea of karma understood to denoting the entire cycle of cause and effect whereby a good (or bad) deed is not necessarily returned to the person who performed it but is added to a cumulative total that is somehow then returned to everyone in some way.  Now this actually makes sense to me.  It’s like the idea of performing a random act of kindness that then begets kindness from others simply because they have been on the receiving end of it.  i.e. you pay for someone’s parking and this puts them in a good so they buy cakes for their work colleagues.  They in turn do something nice for someone else, etc, etc.  You may never be rewarded for your initial kindness but the whole world benefits in some small way.  This, to me, is not something mystical and involves no superstition at all.  It is simply human psychology at work.

Within that in mind I’m going to try to do something kind (beyond not hitting people who annoy me), I’m not sure that so I need your help to suggest something.  What random acts of kindness have you performed or suggest that I perform?


Filed under Bad things happen, Reasons to be cheerful

Eventful weekend (possible a little graphic for those with delicate dispositions)

So, good weekend everyone?

I had a day off on Friday to do some work for my own company.  A simple installation of Quickbooks and roll out over two users.  What a palaver!  I blame fact that an expected one hour job went on for three hours on Windows Fecking Vista.  Control Panel?  Where is the damn thing?  Oh there it is.  WTF!  Networking?  Oh I have nineteen different options to choose from.  TCP/IP?  Two flavours.  I hate it and heartily recommend to the whole world that they either stick with XP, wait for the new version of Windows to come out in a few years or use Linux.

Anyway, popping out for an hour on my day off turned out to last until lunchtime.  When I got home the kids had managed to trash the entire house.  I dread the day that they start drinking alcohol if this is the kind of mess they can make when they’re sober.  We spent the rest of the day making everything right and tidy again.

I also had a rant at the estate agent and, to give them their due, they rang up all the solicitors involved in the sale of my house and the purchase of le château de grenouille.  By 2pm I had an estimate for completion of the sale and purchase and the solicitor had updated their tracking web site for the first time in a month.  Estate Agent: One, Solicitor: nil.  It looks like we’ll be moving on the 31st August, exactly one month after we told them that we wanted to move by.

Only two phone calls from work so it was quite a good day off all round.

Saturday was spent in a more sedate manner with The Hildy and I spending some quality time together keeping our relationship vibrant. 😉  The kids had to fend for themselves which is why the house was again wrecked when we emerged from the bedroom at lunchtime.  Much directing ensued and the place was soon spic and span all over again despite accusations of child slavery from Snarly Beth.

We decided on a pub lunch rather than mess up the shiny kitchen surfaces so departed in a northerly direction to said eating and drinking establishment.  Scarcely two minutes down the road we witnessed a robbery and getaway in progress.  A hairdressers had been robbed and the owner was trying to stop the robber (a young blonde woman and her two grubby children) from escaping in their land rover.  I tried to open the door to no avail and phoned the police with the licence number and description.  Typically of the local constabulary they arrived mere moments after the villains had escaped.  We gave our statements and the excited kids immediately wanted to ring all their friends to tell them the news.

It’s sad to see people taking their kids to work with them. 

After an enjoyable lunch with suitable mirth and frivolity we did a little shopping and went home.

Top tip: When condom shopping always have one partner take the kids to the newsagent while the other pops into the chemist for some “medicine”.

Sunday was less eventful that the previous day as it features exactly zero robberies or high speed car chases but I did get all the ironing done and the laundry monster was beaten into temporary submission.  In the afternoon we had the usual visit from The Hildy’s olds and big sister and, of course, baby Sean.  Baby Sean is now five whole years old and a strapping brute to boot but even when he reaches the precipitous heights of his father (6’6″) he will still be Baby Sean.  It’s just one of those things that families do.

As usual I retreated to the kitchen before they left to prepare dinner and I enlisted Tiny Tasha’s aid.  She chops carrots and makes gravy like an expert.  I may also have started a bottle of Valpolichella by accident.  Well, it gives some extra flavour to the gravy.  I can’t leave an open bottle either.

We also got to watch X-Factor which I’m afraid I still can’t stand.

Now that I’ve bored you with my weekend’s activities please reciprocate.


Filed under le château de grenouille, Reasons to be cheerful

The Bright Town Dungeon

I was working in East Sussex yesterday, which was nice, so I popped down to Brighton to see the very gorgeous, intelligent and witty Slytherin Head Girl.  Prior to the obligatory full body huggle I first had to find the beautiful princess in an unfamiliar town.  Armed only with very vague directions delivered over an awful mobile phone connection I began my journey.

I travelled underground to where the trolls live where I was attacked and my sense of direction stolen.  I became distracted by a record shop that sold real records and wandered aimlessly for a time until I discovered a watering hole called The Pond.  This was not my destination though and I had to battle my way through endless armies of seagull warriors to find my way back to familiar lands.  Sensibly the angelic head girl came to my rescue and directed me to a house of dragons.  It was here that I received a proper greeting as befits a traveller in a strange land.

I was introduced to natives of the Bright Town who were out celebrating the coming of age of one of their number.  This ancient rite of passage involved imbibing copious quantities of a liquids called “beer” and “wine” as well as many boasts and friendly contests of words.  The house of dragons proved to be a suitable venue for this rite and much pleasure was had by all.

It was with great sorrow that I was forced to depart early in order to catch the last train out of town.  The plan was to travel back to the castle of Lady Chloe and continue the celebrations.  I was sad to decline the offer of entering her abode but the last train leaves very early.  Perhaps next time I can stay over and see some of the town the next day.  Maybe check out that record shop again.

Sort of a rambling post but there you go.

Please now encourage Chloe to blog more.


Filed under Keen Scimitar +2, Reasons to be cheerful


In the spirit on continuing as excellent blog entry I give you boob smileys:

( + )( + ) Fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) High nipple breasts

(@)(@) Big nipple breasts

{ O }{ O } D cups

(oYo) Wonder bra breasts

( ^ )( ^ ) Cold breasts

< o < o Electric shock breasts

(/)(o) Scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o) Extra nipple breasts

(^o)(o) Zit on your breast

(o)(O) Lopsided breasts

(Q)(O) Pierced breasts

(p)(p) Hanging tassels breasts

\o/\o/ Grandma’s breasts

(  –  )(  –  ) Flat against the shower door breasts

|o||o| Android breasts

I’m sure there are more so please add any that I’ve missed.


Filed under Reasons to be cheerful

Laziness Test « The Magnificent Frog

Laziness Test « The Magnificent Frog

An update from yesterday.  The estate agent has just phoned me.

Estate agents are officially less lazy that solicitors.

Apparently the delay is with the solicitor of the people I am buying le château de grenouille from.  They must be even worse than my own solicitors. 😉

Oh and apparently it takes two (2) weeks to post a contract out for signature.  Presumably legal postage isn’t done by DX or the post office but by a specially trained team of blind and asthmatic snails (Similar to the post office in many ways).

Snail mail

On the plus side I’m meeting the beautiful Chloe for a pint after work where I will, no doubt, unkindly mock her new Cherry Lambrini style haircut.


Filed under le château de grenouille

Laziness Test

Yesterday at approximately the same time I left messages with the solicitor and with the estate agents who are dealing with my house sale and purchase of le château de grenouille.  I asked them both to call me urgently.  This is basically because I’m fed up with being treated like a mushroom* all the time.

What odds would you give me for the following:

  1. The estate agent calls first;
  2. The solicitor calls first;
  3. Neither one calls me today;
  4. Neither one calls me at all.

Estate agents and solicitors are already on the Human Cull list but I’m sort of wishing that I could punish them in some way.  Some way involving sharp, pointy objects and screaming. 

*Kept in the dark and fed on shit.


Filed under Cull, You decide

Lazy buggers

You know what pisses me off about people more than anything else:


Yes, the very deadly sin that I find so laudable in myself* is the one that I despise in others.  For instance:  I am currently trying to recruit a Lotus Notes programmer with XML and web services experience.  Why do I get CVs for C++ programmers or Network Infrastructure Gurus (seriously)?  It is because the lazy arsed recruitment tosspot can’t be bothered to read the CV before he sends me a copy.  He just blanket emails everyone on his list with a copy of a totally unsuitable CV.  It wouldn’t take that much effort and would be ultimately more efficient to create a simple database (even a spreadsheet) of potential clients and their requirements and then only email them with suitable candidates.  Surely this isn’t a radical suggestion?

Recruitment consultants are going on the Human Cull list.  Sorry Michelle.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

*Sloth is a virtue because it reduces the amount of work that is repeated for no good reason and makes everything more efficient.  If you disagree then go back to washing clothes by hand in the nearest river or chopping firewood to cook dinner with.

What’s your favourite Deadly Sin?  They are Pride | Greed | Lust | Sloth | Envy | Wrath | Gluttony in case you’ve forgotten. 

Why do I even ask?  You’re all going to choose lust aren’t you?  Can you name the seven virtues without googling them?  Any of them?


Filed under Cull, Shitbiscuits




Filed under Reasons to be cheerful

Mildly intoxicated bloggery

The lovely Hildy is out at the moment celebrating her old school chum’s FORTIETH birthday.  I was assisting with the celebration until about half an hour ago when I had to return to allow the babysitter to depart.

I’m only mildly perturbed by the reaction of “granny” that I’d allow The Hildy to walk the two hundred metres from the Art Centre to our front door.  Do you think I should have kept her longer so that The Hildy wouldn’t have to walk home alone?

Clearly then I am required by common etiquette to “wait up ” for The Hildy’s return.  this gives me ample opportunity to relate the events of this day to you, my fellow bloggers.

Following a brief “lie in” this morning The Hildy and I took the children to the cinema at Gunwharf.  Unfortunately the girly members of my family refused to watch the excellent movie of my choice and opted for the ridiculous movie Even Almighty.  While I generally approve of religious parody  I cannot, in all honesty, countenance the paying of monies for so obviously dire a motion picture.  The Beautiful Hildy overruled me and Cake Worm and Little Al accompanied me to see Transformers while the gentler Tiny Tasha and Snarly went with mummy to see Even Almighty.

I imagine that I got the better part of the deal because Transformers proved to be a very entertaining motion picture.  Reliant on the special effects for much of it’s impact it still proved to be amusing with a storyline that, while simplistic, raised numerous guffaws from the crowd as well as several gasps of amazement. 

Returning home we had scant moments to prepare our family abode for Granny and to change our attire for the party.  Yet, we managed it without recourse to harsh language.  The children performed their appointed duties with aplomb and I was nearly overcome with familial pride.

I confess to enjoying one or two alcoholic beverages prior to our arrival at the party.  I should at this point mention that Scott has know The Hildy since she was five years old and that he is extravagantly a male hairdresser of some local repute.  This will no doubt explain my amusement at his “slutty” silver shoes as well as the moment of non-recognition that I had when we first arrived.

I am now seeking some small conclusion to my tale but The Lovely Hildy has yet to return.  I may yet fall asleep in front to the telly in a fretful state as I wait for her.

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Filed under Keen Scimitar +2, Reasons to be cheerful