Jelly Brained Solicitors

I was planning on moving house on Friday.  I mean my house does look like an explosion at a box factory.  We’re even using the stronger boxes as furniture.

Unfortunately my solicitor has forgotten to deal with one or two vital points including a Deed of Covenant and the signature of a witness on a document that they have had for two months.  The buyers of my humble abode have a solicitor even less competent than mine because they have forgotten to order the Drainage and Water searches that they should have ordered as soon as they were instructed. 

Everyone is angry.  The people we are buying from are angry because they want to move and no one is telling them what the delay is.  We’re angry because everyone we deal with seems to have lime jelly for brains.  The buyer of my house are angry because he is in London and needs to drive back one night to sign a piece of paper that he could have had ages ago.  His mum is angry, I’m not sure why, maybe she’s clingy but that’s beside the point.  The only people who aren’t angry are the estate agents who will soon be paid a vast sum of money for doing very little.  This is making me angry.  Even the kids are angry.  OK, we took their beds down and they have to sleep on the floor but I’m sure that is some jelly brained solicitors fault somehow.

I may hulk out tomorrow.

Plus I now have to buy some food….and some alcohol.

I apologise in advance for rude and/or cutting comments that I may come out with in the next ten days.  I may just stick to egg related blogs to be on the safe side.

I’m going to bed now to stew in my own suppressed rage.

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13 Comments

Filed under Cull, le château de grenouille, Shitbiscuits

13 responses to “Jelly Brained Solicitors

  1. godsgalchild

    Sorry about the rough day…the good thing is about being down is there is nowhere else to go but up..;) Smile, it burns calories!!!

  2. Dom

    Ah – fond memories of trying to get my ex to buy the house off me. She wasn’t the problem her Solicitors were. She kept telling me how cheap they were and how I was being ripped off by mine. I kept telling her how I needed to pay the money for someone competent as 6 months for filling in a simple TR1 where neither party was contesting the amount is just ludicrous. Stew away, I know I would 🙂

  3. Anyone involved in the moving process is usually shit and it all seems even worse because it’s a stressful time anyway. The solicitors for Hampshire council or whoever it is that deals with the legal side of part ownership schemes in Hampshire (small world) forgot about the Deed of Covenant but my uncle (who is a solicitor and did all my cousin’s paperwork) realised and had sten words. It would have meant that they could have come in and just evicted him!! Or something. I wasn’t really listening.

  4. by sten I obviously meant stern and was just testing your vocabulary

  5. GG, stewing burns calories as well pacing up and down and grinding teeth. If I smile I might start scaring people.

    Dom, I’ve just filled in a TR1. It’s actually a really easy form to complete. Did you decapitate any solicitors.

    Soupus, this particular Deed of Covenant is related to communal charges for the upkeep of the greens and hedges and…stuff….no chance of eviction just the chance of having to pay for the upkeep of an area where I won’t be living and won’t benefit from.

    A sten is a type of machine gun if I remember my war films. Having sten words might be more effective. ratatatatatata tata

  6. hey, there’s nothing wrong with having jelly for a brain… i would call them ‘turd brained solicitors’

  7. Your brain is pink and sweet, Ms Face, not rotten and lime flavoured.

  8. actually, i don’t mind the lime ones you know… not as good as the grapefruit ones mind

  9. You sound like a brain eating zombie at an all you can eat diner.

  10. concertmaster

    Grrrr! don’t get me started on those people… Still I’m SURE they’ll give you a big discount off their astronomical bill for the inconvenience caused by their cock-up, won’t they?

  11. Haha ha ha, CM, you crack me up. Discount indeed. I mean it’s only taken six weeks longer than I asked.

    I’m hoping that they will do what my last solicitors did and forget to pay loads of people. I think that I’d actually give them an evil laugh if they did this.

  12. Dom

    You’d think the TR1 was a simple form, but they managed to get the names of the people wrong… and the address… and the amount being paid… and the terms of transfer…. all of it really 🙂 No decapitation but I damn near sued them.

  13. concertmaster

    But…but…but… you make them sound like a bunch of money-grabbing, good-for-nothings….! 😉

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