Monthly Archives: July 2007

Time slip

Somehow I convinced myself that today was Friday.

I was looking forward to the weekend and now I’ve got three more days of work.  Three whole days.

My disappointment is almost tangible.  It’s like the Star Wars prequels all over again.

10 Comments

Filed under Bad things happen, Zombie shelter

Blackberry Cheese Squares

2 cups plain flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
1 cup shredded mild Cheddar cheese
10 oz. pureed blackberries

  • Sift flour with baking powder, salt and brown sugar.
  • Cut the butter and cheese into the dry ingredients until mixture is crumbly.
  • Set aside 3/4 cup of the cheese crumbs and pat the remaining mixture into an 8 inch square baking pan.
  • Spread blackberry puree evenly over the cheese mixture in the pan and sprinkle with remaining cheese crumbs.
  • Bake at Gas Mark 6 in an oven for 25 minutes or until golden.
  • Cool and cut into squares.

1 Comment

Filed under Reasons to be cheerful, Recipe for disaster, Zombie shelter

It is wrong to laugh at this.

I just read this on the beeb’s news site.

Firstly some of the most beautiful women in the world are ginger and Snarly’s best mate, Lol, is as flame haired as they come so don’t you go accusing me of any evilness. 

*points*

I am simply trying to point out how hard life is for those poor individuals afflicted with the recessive gene that colours their hair that shade of red. 😉

Anyway, I think I like the joke names that they put in this article the most.  Sharon Jaffa is my favourite.

 The side bar on mythology also made me snigger out loud.

RED HAIR MYTHOLOGY

Redheads sacrificed in ancient Egypt

Associated with witches and vampires in Europe

Reputed to bleed more

Mary Magdalene, Adam, Judas and even Jesus depicted as redheads

My absolute favourite in the whole article though is this little gem:

“it’s unclear whose responsibility it is to monitor discrimination.

 

‘It is certainly not us,’ says the Commission for Racial Equality.”

More important information on the effect that being ginger can have on you can be found here.

Anyone who laughed at the poor ginger people should now hang your head in shame.  Yes, I mean you.  You wicked, wicked person.

6 Comments

Filed under Cull, Reasons to be cheerful

Urgh…

…tired.

Do not work on your TMA (Tutor Marked Assignment) until late at night.  It leaves you tired but unable to sleep.

Today’s message was brought to you by the letters H and F and the number 3.

I’m going to try sleeping again.  Good night all.

4 Comments

Filed under Bad things happen, MT262, van de graaf

For my geeky chums

function roll4d6(){
   d1=Math.floor (6*Math.random() + 1);
   d2=Math.floor (6*Math.random() + 1);
   d3=Math.floor (6*Math.random() + 1);
   d4=Math.floor (6*Math.random() + 1);
   if ((d4<=d3)&(d4<=d2)&(d4<=d1)){
      return d1 + d2 + d3;
   }
   else if ((d3<=d4)&(d3<=d2)&(d3<=d1))
   {
      return d1 + d2 + d4;
   }
   else if ((d2<=d4)&(d2<=d2)&(d2<=d1))
   {
      return d1 + d3 + d4;
   }
   else
   {
      return d2 + d3 + d4;
   }
}

12 Comments

Filed under Keen Scimitar +2, Reasons to be cheerful, van de graaf

Too annoyed to blog

I’m actually too annoyed to blog about what is annoying me.  I just want to punch something.  This is not healthy so rather than spread my irritableness around I’m taking a break.

Don’t even mention Friday the 13th.  It’s superstitious nonsense and the twonks that I work with seem to be paralysed with fear because of it.  It’s the 21st Century for fuck’s sake.  Not the bloody middle ages.

See, that’s the sort of mood I’m in.  It’s better that I just go off and work before I annoy anyone else.

7 Comments

Filed under Bad things happen, I am, Shitbiscuits

They deserve 10 years in jail…

…not for smuggling cocaine but for mangling the English language.

I read in the Metro on the train this morning that a pair of young women had been arrested.

Yasemin said: ‘It was basically like a set-up. They didn’t tell us nothing, we didn’t think nothing, because, basically, we are innocent. We don’t know nothing about this drugs and stuff. We don’t know nothing.’

This is inexcusable.  So many double negatives and lack of clear structure to her sentences.  Perhaps ten years in prison in Ghana will show them the error their ways.  After this confession I don’t give them much hope of freedom.

7 Comments

Filed under Bad things happen, Shitbiscuits, van de graaf

Lazy blogging because I’m busy dammit, busy as a bee.

Ladybird books updated for the 21st Century.

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My personal favourite.

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Right then, back to work.  I have Backup Exec and a Domino server to install and configure so I can’t spare any time today for you lovely people.  You know that I’d would rather be here blogging don’t you?

What are you doing today and is it more boring that what I’m doing?

4 Comments

Filed under Reasons to be cheerful, You decide

Back to Basics

I’ve just finished downloading a whole set of albums from t’Internet.  Included in these are a dozen of Billy Bragg’s albums from the late 80s and early 90s. 

Now I’m sitting at home in my dressing gown surrounded by mortgage and insurance forms, I’ve packed the kids off to school, The Hildy is out at work and I’m listening to music from my teens when life just seemed to be so much simpler.   I was a different person then and sometimes I find myself missing the old me.  If I didn’t have such a wonderful life it might be more often.

When the zombies attack I’m taking my 80s music collection with me into my underground bunker and not a damn one of you can say anything to change my mind.

9 Comments

Filed under Reasons to be cheerful, Zombie shelter

Rules For Work:

  1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
  2. If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
  3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
  4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
  5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
  6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
  7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
  8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
  9. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
  10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
  11. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.
  12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much tax on the bonus you received for being such a good manager.
  13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.

2 Comments

Filed under Thursday Thirteen