They deserve 10 years in jail…

…not for smuggling cocaine but for mangling the English language.

I read in the Metro on the train this morning that a pair of young women had been arrested.

Yasemin said: ‘It was basically like a set-up. They didn’t tell us nothing, we didn’t think nothing, because, basically, we are innocent. We don’t know nothing about this drugs and stuff. We don’t know nothing.’

This is inexcusable.  So many double negatives and lack of clear structure to her sentences.  Perhaps ten years in prison in Ghana will show them the error their ways.  After this confession I don’t give them much hope of freedom.


Filed under Bad things happen, Shitbiscuits, van de graaf

7 responses to “They deserve 10 years in jail…

  1. M

    “I was basically like a set-up” – “Basically, it wasn’t a set-up; it was similar in which there were police and sniffer dogs, but it wasn’t actually a set-up”

    “They didn’t tell us nothing” – “They told us plenty of things but we were too stoned to pay attention”

    “We didn’t think nothing” – “We are stoned; plenty of thoughts, just none that would really help our case”

    “because, basically, we are innocent” – “Aren’t we all innocent from birth and then we sort-of fuck things up a bit as we grow older, tarnishing that innocence with sin (should you believe in that concept) or crimes; however minor or major they may be”

    “We don’t know nothing about this drugs and stuff” – “We know a lot about drugs, but were stoned at the time (and still are) and are at a complete loss as to what the heck is going on right now.”

    “We don’t know nothing” – “We have GCSEs and A-Levels coming out of the wazzoo; despite this, we’re still airheads”

  2. I was just looking at the various press reports. They get no sympathy from me, firstly for being so freaking stupid and secondly for seeming like uneducated gimps.

    A decade or so in a Ghanian prison will give them plenty of time to reflect on their many counts of stupidity.

  3. Mas, brilliant. You’ve written exactly what I wanted to write but was too impatient to think of. You should write all my blogs, they’d be much more interesting.

    Rich, stupid and gimpy, not a good combination really.

  4. M

    I know you were directing this to Rich; but the line “Rich, stupid and gimpy, not a good combination really” sounds like the intro tune to some strange, warped television show; odds are, with Rich being the “normal” one who beats Stupid and Gimpy about the head with a baseball bat when they get a bit annoying (ie. all the time)

    It popped into my head.
    I’m sorry 🙂

  5. Actually I thought I’d just been libelled and was about to instruct the wheels of justice to commence turning! 😀

  6. Argh, the youth of today…. *sucks teeth*

  7. Crumbs! I wouldn’t want to be sqished under any wheels of justice.

    Soupy, yoofs eh! Tsk!

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