Make a monkey out of me will ya?*

I received a very kind “Thank you” email from The John Aspinall Foundation today.  I’ve been donating ten whole English pounds to them for a while now and this is the first time they’ve sent me anything.  Not that they need to but I was starting to feel as if they’d forgotten about me.

Why give money to The John Aspinall Foundation?  Well, it’s mainly the work that they do to protect gorillas.  These gentle creatures are significantly more deserving of charity than most humans…at least most humans that I’m aware of.  Although The Hildy insists on giving money to human charities as well.  She has much more charity in her heart than I do.  This is probably why she works with the dregs of society while I work with machines.  Machines are predictable and clean (even if they can catch viruses) and there’s no maliciousness about them.  People do horrible things that make me hate them.

The Hildy told me that one of her clients’ 12 year old daughter has contracted an SDT.  This is probably from her client’s boyfriend.  It isn’t the worst thing that she’s told me about her clients but it is the most recent.  Anyway that’s probably something that you don’t want to hear about so I’ll go back to talking about apes.

Apparently that nice Dermot O’Leary is off to do a documentary about endangered gorillas and illegal hunting of them in Africa soon.  I think he’s working on some telebox program or other at the moment but he’s off to the Congo when it’s over.

*Yes, I do know that gorillas and other apes are not monkeys.  The title was just for effect.

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10 Comments

Filed under Bad things happen, Shitbiscuits

10 responses to “Make a monkey out of me will ya?*

  1. M

    SDT? You mean an STI ?
    I like all manner of primates, except the ones who claim to be civilised and yet act in manners unsuiting their civil facade.

    Mas

  2. If Dermy is going out i will be watching.. mmmm.
    Well done you giving to help out the monkeys. *pats back*

  3. “Machines are predictable and clean (even if they can catch viruses) and there’s no maliciousness about them”

    My machine is chock full of malice. I hate it.

  4. Sexually Transmitted Disease or Infection. It’s the same and still gross.

    Fab, apes! They prefer to be called apes.

    Soupy, it is simply following it’s own logic. Clearly you have programmed it with malice and it’s simply returning it.

  5. Cough um sorry… apes.

  6. M

    Hoverfrog: I agree – was just being a pendantic bugger – you’d the letters the wrong way around SDT not STD – but then I tried to skip over it and yet refer to it in the remainder of my comment.
    Take care Mr Frog; I could never do the Hildy’s job – I’d find that after the bf in the first few cases I attended was suffering from a terminal splitting headache ( a side-effect of me carrying an axe with me to work) I would probably be banged up somewhere and the rest of the world would carry on being as full of shit “civilised primates” acting anything but civil towards one another. My own behaviour would be but another example of it all.

  7. Fab, your apology has mollified the rampaging apes. They wish to drink tea and reflect on the day’s activities now.

    Mas, stoopid oversized fingers….a typo..my bad. I couldn’t do her job. I’d either give up in frustration or secretly organise vigilante gangs to “clean up the streets”. There are some sick people out there.

    The worst thing is that the victims are so utterly rubbish at protecting themselves from these people. I’ll blog a new entry about that right now. Give me time to look for typos this time.

  8. Tiffany

    Hoverfrog-
    I just started reading your blog through a comment you made on FriendlyChristian.com. I enjoy reading your posts and though I don’t agree with your comment about machines, seeing as how I have never had one electronic device that I swear wasn’t out to get me, I am both delighted and impressed to see that someone is caring for the apes.

  9. Tiffany

    Hoverfrog-
    I just started reading your blog due to a comment you made on FriendlyChristian.com. I enjoy reading your posts and though I don’t agree with your comment about machines, seeing as how I have never had one electronic device that I swear wasn’t out to get me, I am both delighted and impressed to see that someone is caring for the apes (“monkeys”).

  10. Tiffany (twice), I’m glad you like it. Machines have no intent, they merely follow instructions and perform the actions that their designers made them for…barring mechanical failure of some kind.

    This particular entry is an odd place to start though. I would have thought a friendly christian might want to comment on one or more of my anti-religion posts. I’m sure I’ve done one or two 😉

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