The survey says

A surveyor came round to …um… survey my house yesterday.  It actually looks like we’re going to be able to sell it and afford le château de grenouille.  It’s just so tiring sorting out the move.  Every time it rains I’m convinced that the garage will flood and all my valuables that I hid there to make my house look bigger will be ruined forever.

I just want to be able to leave the washing up in the sink for when I get home or not care that the loo seats are left up or all the milk bottles are put out rather than being left on the windowsill.  I hate all the tidiness and lack of clutter.

I hate having to deal with estate agents and their irritating falseness and lies.  I know they have a job to do but why not be honest about it.  Is there something in their blood that makes them choose lie over truth?  I really hate that the government will be getting a nice big chunk of tax money in the form of stamp duty from me just when I need to spend a lot of money of legal fees.  I hate the legal fees and the huge mark up the conveyancer adds on for even the most basic local searches.  I hate the greed of it all and especially the greedy part of me that covets the bigger house.

I am looking forward to each of the kids having a bedroom of their own so they have less reason to try to kill one another.  I’m looking forward to the clutter of unpacking, of getting new pet rats to share the house with us (boy rats this time), and to finding my way around a new neighbourhood again.  I’m looking forward to getting to know the neighbours and I’m hoping that they are at least half as good as the ones I’ll be leaving.

I’m not looking forward to sorting out all the utilities again or mail forwarding but it might be good to just write to everyone in my address book and give them my new address.  I could even use it as an excuse to renew a few old acquaintances.  You never know, it might be good for an antisocial git like me.

Now all I’ve got to do is sort out the new mortgage, get a surveyor of my own, pay everyone, pack and move.

No worries.


Filed under le château de grenouille

6 responses to “The survey says

  1. I hate moving for all the reasons you’ve mentioned.

    I’d live in this house until I die but I fear I need more space and that I’ll need that space way before I die.

  2. M

    estate agents need the ability to “doctor the truth” – it helps when it comes to selling. Instead of saying “and there’s a pokey little box room that is completely useless” they can say “and there’s a room which would make an ideal nursary or study; or possibly could be converted into a shower / extra bathroom “… and obviously, if they’re selling your house, you’d rather they said “could use a little attention” rather than “actually, the property is 2 steps away from being condemed” – unfortunately, it’s a double edged sword…

  3. Rich, my understanding of death is that you don’t need much space at all.
    Mas, there is exaggeration to show the positive side of a property, there are untruths and then there are the sort of fabrications that estate agents come out with. It may just be the estate agents that I am cursed with but I suspect that it’s part of their training.

  4. M

    a curse of estate agents; is that like a plague of biblical proportions? And do estate agents beat locusts, boils or (I’m having a problem coming up with 3rd examples today) ?

    The public need to know 🙂
    (Well… I do at least)

  5. Rivers of blood?

    Estate agents easily beat them. Even if they didn’t they’d lie about it.

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