An end to shoe madness

Like an an ever so prolific blogger who shares my love of all things ratty I don’t wear shoes often.  There are many reasons for this.

  1. It is difficult to find shoes in my size.  For some reason shoe shops seem to think that people who have feet larger than a size 11 don’t need shoes.  Presumably we can wear boxes instead or just go barefoot.
  2. As a fussy bugger who also happens to be a vegetarian I insist that my footwear contains no animal parts.  Now before the price of leather (and presumably the value of the cows that grow it) dropped through the floor it was quite easy to get plastic or canvas shoes but now it’s as easy as finding hen’s teeth.
  3. I have grown to hate the vacant eyed children that shoe shops employ.  Presumably they pay so badly that only rejects from Rotten Ronnies are eligible for this McJob.  I may be treating them harshly here but I’ve had no positive shoe shop experiences to enable me to say anything good.
  4. I don’t really find them comfortable.  I like to get some air around my footsies.
  5. They smell if I wear them for too long.  Apparently stinky feet are a sign of good health.  I’m not sure if this is an old wives tale to make pongo toes feel better but I’m going to support it.
  6. A lack of shoes makes it easier to strip the rest of my clothes off.  You know, just in case anyone feels like it.  You never know when L’Amour will strike. 😉
  7. Frankly the cost of replacing shoes is just too high.  I mean, I must spend £8 on a pair of trainers every few months.  That’s a lot of money dontchaknow.
  8. If I had more shoes I’d just lose them.

I have found a solution to the madness that is buying shoes.  I am simply going to buy identical shoes from now on.  I have an excellent pair of canvas trainers from “We’re so cheap even pikeys won’t shop here”.  The lace holes started to tear the other day on my right shoe.  Rather than buy an different brand I simply purchased an identical pair of trainers and discarded the torn shoe.  Now I have a spare left shoe.

I think you’ll agree that three shoes are better than two.  Think of the possibilities.

Yes, they are green.



Filed under Reasons to be cheerful

17 responses to “An end to shoe madness

  1. Fabulous

    How about some nice flip flops

  2. Sioned

    Now, I must admit to not wearing shoes, or socks for that matter, all that often. I like be barefoot all year long, and most of the time I am. I do not even like to wear socks when I wear shoes, even when running (That is not always the best choice). That being said, I still love shoes.. Love love love them. I would spend all my pennies on shoes (and coats), could I afford it, but, alas, I cannot.*

    *I still have a lot of shoes though.

  3. I think that is a very good iead Mr Frog

  4. FAB, I do have a pair of flip flops but they don’t really go with my socks.

    Lovely Michelle, that’s because you’re girly.

  5. Jellyface, I thought so too.

  6. Fabulous

    oh no socks nad flip flops will never do. Maybe you should get some sandles.

  7. M

    I know your game Mr Frog; you just want to be nominated as the blogger who always talks about shoes in nagnagnag’s p27 bloscers or whatever you call them.

    At work I am toe-‘tected boot boy; in the street I’m sockless sandal teva man, and at home I’m barefoot (but not pregnant)

    As to your “number 6″… shoes need not impare the ability to get naked… just wear a kilt or monkish robes… or would the ease of nakedness hamper the desire in others to make you naked ?

    And your solution… you know the right shoes are deliberately defective? You’re going to end up with a wardrobe full of left shoes. I expect to see you advertising on ebay by then end of the year

    “for sale, left shoe (no right). Great condition. Never worn. Suits man or woman with one left foot, wooden leg, parrot and eyepatch.”

    Ar jim lad

  8. Fab, sandals? Good grief I have some standard you know…it’s just that they aren’t very high.

  9. Mas drat! You found me out. Do you think if I just wore a robe then I’d be able to get nekkid much faster? Actually it might be better if you don’t dwell on it.

    In a few years I may just lop off my own right leg and buy myself a parrot. I hear the pirate look is all the rage these days. Yarr!

  10. Sioned

    How strange.. no one, I mean no one, has ever called me girly. I am usually the talk kick ass girl who will, well, kick your ass if you don’t watch it!! That includes acting badly to people I care about, I will kick ass for them as well. ….. Hmm.. girly…. me. I like it :o)

  11. Of yes, girlish Michelle, you are the very paragon of femininity and youth. An Aphrodite in kick ass boots. I’m comfortable with the dichotomy if you are.

    Mas, they have obviously offended girlish Michelle in some way and need a good kicking. Better them than us.

  12. Mr Frog. I’ve seen you about friends’ blogs for ages now and I think it’s high time I added you to my subscriptions/ blogroll and started reading you. So I will! 😉

  13. But we haven’t been properly introduced or anything. What will people say?

  14. Just blame me – they all know what a terrible slut I am!

  15. Mr Frog, surely you’ve been here ???

    There’s also a jolly good Vegan footwear shop in Brighton.

  16. I’ve never been shoe shopping in Brighton. I’ll have to get Chloe (Slytherin Head Girl) to take me. I’m sure she knows where all the best shoe shops in are.

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