Daily Archives: 6 June 2007

An end to shoe madness

Like an an ever so prolific blogger who shares my love of all things ratty I don’t wear shoes often.  There are many reasons for this.

  1. It is difficult to find shoes in my size.  For some reason shoe shops seem to think that people who have feet larger than a size 11 don’t need shoes.  Presumably we can wear boxes instead or just go barefoot.
  2. As a fussy bugger who also happens to be a vegetarian I insist that my footwear contains no animal parts.  Now before the price of leather (and presumably the value of the cows that grow it) dropped through the floor it was quite easy to get plastic or canvas shoes but now it’s as easy as finding hen’s teeth.
  3. I have grown to hate the vacant eyed children that shoe shops employ.  Presumably they pay so badly that only rejects from Rotten Ronnies are eligible for this McJob.  I may be treating them harshly here but I’ve had no positive shoe shop experiences to enable me to say anything good.
  4. I don’t really find them comfortable.  I like to get some air around my footsies.
  5. They smell if I wear them for too long.  Apparently stinky feet are a sign of good health.  I’m not sure if this is an old wives tale to make pongo toes feel better but I’m going to support it.
  6. A lack of shoes makes it easier to strip the rest of my clothes off.  You know, just in case anyone feels like it.  You never know when L’Amour will strike. 😉
  7. Frankly the cost of replacing shoes is just too high.  I mean, I must spend £8 on a pair of trainers every few months.  That’s a lot of money dontchaknow.
  8. If I had more shoes I’d just lose them.

I have found a solution to the madness that is buying shoes.  I am simply going to buy identical shoes from now on.  I have an excellent pair of canvas trainers from “We’re so cheap even pikeys won’t shop here”.  The lace holes started to tear the other day on my right shoe.  Rather than buy an different brand I simply purchased an identical pair of trainers and discarded the torn shoe.  Now I have a spare left shoe.

I think you’ll agree that three shoes are better than two.  Think of the possibilities.

Yes, they are green.


Filed under Reasons to be cheerful