Cranky Pants

Don’t even speak to me.

I’ve been subjected to the bullshit of two estate agents every hour for the past two days.  I managed to hold my temper until I received a ten minute bombast by Slimy Sam where she suggested that she approach the current owners of le château de grenouille and reduce my offer to purchase said building “because it would help you out if money was short”.

Points of fact that I may have accidentally shouted at Slimy Sam and a bit of a rant:

• I perfectly happy with the offer I have made on le château de grenouille.
• Offering them a lower amount may make them withdraw their acceptance of the offer.  I know I would.
• I am not happy about the offers I am receiving from people who are viewing my current home. 
• Either the asking price is too high and their valuation is therefore suspect or they are telling people that I will accept a lower offer without asking me first.
• I can afford the asking price on le château de grenouille even if I sell my house at a loss.
• I want a fair price for my house.
• I really resent the implication that I cannot afford to buy le château de grenouille.
• I really resent the condescending tone that Slimy Sam used when implying that I cannot afford to buy le château de grenouille.

Cliff (another word for bluff) is the one who actually annoys me most though.  Not because he has actually done anything wrong but because he’s a stereotype.  Seriously.  Imagine a stereotypical estate agent like Macaulay Culkin in a cheap suit but oozing smarm.  He was immediately acting my best friend in attitude, speech and mannerisms and I took an instant dislike to him.  I’m certain that the word “professionalism” is a complete unknown to him.  I dislike him even more than the young chap who works in WH Smiths on a Sunday who calls everyone mate and then chuckles to himself.  It’s just utterly inappropriate.

….and breathe.

OK rant over, it should be OK to talk now. 

As a therapeutic exercise I think it would be simply spiffing if you all shared your personal estate agent related malaise with me.  Then we could all unite in our hatred of these creatures.

In other news I am exceedingly happy that I have uses “bombast”, “inappropriate” and “malaise” in a blog entry.  They are three of my favourite words.