It has become something of a tradition for me to create a death list in the new year. A death list is simply a list of celebrities who I think will die or hope will die this year. It’s just a bit of fun so don’t go giving me that look.
- Nancy Reagan – Former First Lady. America needs a state funeral, they haven’t had one for a while. Peaceful death in her sleep.
- Prince Phillip – Crotchety old racist. Dammit, we Brits need a state funeral as well. Heart attack at the Opera.
- Sylvester Stallone – Only 60 but he needs to go before he makes another action movie. Dies on set making Rambo IV.
- Ernest Borgnine – Frankly I’m surprised this guy is still hanging on. If he dies we’re guaranteed a rerun of such classics as “The Dirty Dozen”, “The Wild Bunch” and, “The Poseidon Adventure”. I predict he dies in bed.
- Les Paul – Maker of fine guitars but sales have been slow recently. Another peaceful death.
- Clive Dunn – Dad’s Army favourite. Dies on the way back from the shops.
- Michael Jackson – An innocent man (according to the American Courts) but I predict a suicide in 2007.
- Claire Rayner – Agony Aunt, I say she’ll have a stroke.
- Albert Hofmann – father of LSD. At 101 he is the oldest person on this list. I’m guessing death by elephants.
- Jackie Chan – Only 52 this year but a body can only take so much damage before it gives up.
I know it’s tasteless but I’d love to see your lists.