My purpose in life

Answer me these questions three

It seems that being the “IT guy” in a company of complete numpties actually grants me magical abilities to answer any question on any subject no matter how mundane.

For example I have successfully answered the following questions today:

  • How do I know it the text I have copied has been copied?
  • How does someone drown in a swimming pool?
  • Is Scientology a religion or a cult?
  • Where are the biscuits?
  • How the hell has Jade Goody got pregnant again?
  • The computer says it needs to shut down.  What should I do?
  • Was the Pope in the Hitler youth?

There are others but these stick in my mind.

Why not jump on the bandwagon and ask me a question?  Go ahead.  It’s the only reason I exist.

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19 Comments

Filed under Eerie

19 responses to “My purpose in life

  1. Sioned

    Why did the comment I left on the lotus notes issue not save? I also had some links in there as well to help out. It is gone and I am too lazy to look it all back up. Why am I too lazy?

  2. How many crows can you pick from your nose in an English country garden?

  3. Yeah, so where ARE the biscuits…?

  4. M

    If we ask you a question, are you going to answer it ?
    (no… that’s not the question I want answering… well.. well… yes I do want it answered but… it’s not the “biggy”.. the biggy is something along the lines of “If we take the idea that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, meaning those of us who have sin and fail to repent will still be allowed into the kingdom of heaven ‘no questions asked’ ; then is the assumption that those that our society considers ‘evil’ such as Hitler, Saddam Hussain, Tony Blair etc would also find their way into said kingdom; in fact rendering the whole idology a bit useless as heaven is going to be heaving with souls and Satan is going to be doing little more than twiddling his thumbs and learning to crochet with his pitchfork… Taking this as a given, and without attempting to disprove (or prove) the existance of God, Jesus or an afterlife, or simply answering ‘yes’ or ‘no'; can you tell me what ‘Christian’ sins you would commit knowing that it didn’t matter what you did as you’d still get into heaven? (Assume that any sin you commited would be ignored by the various legalities in our society and you would get away with it, completely Scott Free)”
    Many thanks
    M

  5. Sioned lovely, I have no idea but I’d really like that information. Also a hug.

    More importantly, what are you doing here? You never leave the shiny confines of P27. Have you had your jabs?

    Booger, Des ate them all.

    Mas, I may not answer them or I may answer them truthfully, falsely or cryptically. To answer your question: all of them. There are seven and they’re deadly but I think they’re all worth pursuing. I’m guessing that you mean the 10 commandments though.
    1. You shall have no other Gods but me.
    2. You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it.
    3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
    4. You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy.
    5. Respect your father and mother.
    6. You must not kill.
    7. You must not commit adultery.
    8. You must not steal.
    9. You must not give false evidence against your neighbour.
    10. You must not be envious of your neighbour’s goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.

    All these too except number 2.

  6. Sioned

    You left, I followed in order to comment here. I have commented here before, have yo not noticed? *cries* — *whispers* — sometimes I even post on a vox blog I have. Not often though, it is too much work, even though I just copy and paste…

    here is what I found – which I think is not any help at all. If you are still having troubles, drop me an e mail and I can talk to some of my consultants to see if they know.

    http://www-128.ibm.com/developerworks/search/searchResults.jsp?source=google&searchType=1&searchSite=dW&searchScope=dW&query=integrating+web+services+with+Lotus+Domino+using+XML%3F

  7. M

    oooh… so who would you kill? (if you say me I’m going to be deeply offended and cross you off my Christmas card list :-) )

    M

  8. Sioned

    Ok, this is getting annoying! That is the second time I posted with a link and it is the second time that it did not post what I wrote! I am mad, dammit!

  9. Oink

    Does my bum look big in this?

  10. Jason

    Mr Frog, you’re clearly not filling enough “can you fix my home computer” requests! Try Harder!!

  11. My question for this morning is should I have a shave and wear a suit for my meeting this morning or should I go casual?

  12. Mas, I wouldn’t kill you. I’d leave you alive. *evil grin*
    Seriously though, have you never felt like killing someone? Given the circumstances you outlined I think I’d be tempted to actually bump someone off…several someones…OK loads of people.

    Michelle, of lovely and cuddly Michelle, I don’t think WordPress likes links very much. I’ve had a similar problem with images in comments as well.

    Mrs Piggermannnnnnnn, absolutely not, you are as svelte as a sylph.

    Fellow Jason, oooh you bad man.

    Rich, casual but remember to do up your fly.

    Ms C, pee on the thingy and see if it goes blue. If it doesn’t it’s because you haven’t eaten enough cake.

  13. Oh and lovely and glamourous Michelle with the cute toddler, I found your comments in my spam filter. Stop sending spam you naughty person.

  14. oh no!!! my pee defo isn’t blue ;)

    i think i need to eat more…

  15. There’s always room for more cake.

    I went clean shaven, probably much to BS’s disgust and wore a suit rather than casual.

  16. I will jump anything at the moment, clean shaven or stubbly.

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